I finally got the letter for the scan. It has not been easy waiting as I am impatient at the best of times and to have to wait for an appointment after being told that you have a mass is hard enough but for that scan to take three weeks to get. It will be like the ultrasounds that I had when I was pregnant. They say I must drink 1.5 pints of water and have a full bladder. They in turn aim to do the scan on time. I wonder how often they have women have to go to the loo and then start drinking and waiting again.

It does mean that I will have to change my pain clinic appointment as they are about 20 miles apart and only 1.5 hours between them. I cannot see me managing to get to both.

This next week is half term and I was hoping to spend some time with family. Monday (tomorrow) I have an appointment at anti-coagulation clinic, Tuesday I have a haircut, Thursday I have the two different appointments. So that leaves Wednesday or Friday. It will have to be Friday as I have no money to spare until then. I also have my first assignment due in on Friday. My second son is in the same position as he is doing the same course, and it looks as if his computer died today. So he will have to see if he can get some help from the OU to get a new computer. It is that or he will have to share mine. He likes being up late so I can see him on the night shift. Seriously though he and our daughter will have to be trying to get their work done on my computer whilst I am at hospital appointments.

The credit crunch is hitting us now. Our costs are higher because of Robert and me. If we do not keep the house warm we both are in more pain. I am often here wrapped in a blanket because I am trying to keep myself warm. Trying to keep the heating off to save money to make ends meet.  Food is more expensive when you have a disability. It is hard to do simple things like peeling potatoes, and whilst our daughter is good at helping with the cooking, she often has homework to do. So I end up buying ready prepared veggies. Then there are the nights where you end up buying ready meals because again you have no energy or desire to cook. I am not able to shop often and so I send others out. When you are cooking and you do the shopping you can change what you are going to cook and buy other things. But when someone else does your shopping you have to get what is on the list.

To be honest I have decided to stop worrying about the bills. It does not help get them paid and just makes me feel bad.

I got a letter on Friday from the DWP about my DLA application. They have still not made a decision about if I qualify for DLA and if so how much. I know that if I am successful then the money will be back dated. If not it will be another case of tribunal and another application. This time if I have to take my case to tribunal I will go there myself so that they can see what I am like. It is so offensive when you see articles in the media about how easy it is to get benefits and how many people who are not disabled get them. I did not ask to be like this, I do not enjoy being in constant pain, yet I have to fight for the money.  If we were not in need of it I would give up because it is stressful and upsetting. It really feels like you are begging, but I am not I am trying to get the help I need.

Robert got a letter from DWP on Saturday. He was awarded IS for two years and that was 22 months ago so he had a form to fill in about it. I say a form it was a book and much to his horror I made him do it there and then. A friend of ours said to me about a year ago that when he has forms to fill in he takes the attitude that he is getting paid to do it. So for example if this form gives Robert £80 per week that is just over £4,000 per year. So if the form takes an hour you in effect were paid £4,000 for filling it in. Since I have looked at it that way I have been better at forms.

Robert got the form filled in and Michael posted it Saturday. So that is one less thing to think about.